Aug 4, 2013

Reflective Sunday: Am I ready To Be A Mom?

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I have decided that starting this Sunday, I would set apart a weekly post in some of my intimate thoughts in my life. A break from all the product, places and service features. It is thinking aloud to the concerns of a woman my age. So here goes...

At this lifestage, the most question I oftenly get these days is -- Kailan kayo mag-aanak (When are you planning to have kids)? A few years back it used to be kailan kayo magpapakasal (When are you getting married)? And being in a Christian community, we oftenly get encouraging words like "Just pray for it and God will hear your prayers".

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Errr, that is the thing... At this point we never really asked it in prayers just yet. Although, Hubby and I have been together for a dozen years, it is only when we got married that we get to enjoy the TOTAL freedom of being in a relationship with each other so up to now that we are nearing our 4th Wedding Anniversary we are savoring being together: just the two of us. 

Financially, we are not ready to have a kid but I know the Lord will provide for our needs. Once in awhile, my ovaries would ache to have my own baby and at times I get a little bit sad when I have my period. But funny thing, I would report to hubby that indi ka pa daddy =( and he would respond "Yey!" for real. See, we are just a couple of rascals at home so can you imagine us having kids?

But seriously, I grew up in a business-oriented family so needless to say I am not domisticated at all which in effect I am career-driven.  My basic cleaning and cooking skills are beareable to adults only. So taking care for a tiny human being would be a great challenge. Don't let me forget to mention that I am also totally out of shape and having a thyroid issue has not been easy for me to get back into normal weight. But I do not doubt for my capacity to love my own child but realistically speaking the daily grind of motherhood is really out of my comfort zone. I've always been ready to be a wife but to be a mom, I am afraid to say, not so much.

At this moment, I am just asking the Lord for guidance and if it is His will for us to bear for the next Ramos-Yap generation, for Him to give me the promptings to pray for it and the strength to endure the challenge of parenthood.

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